March 29, 2007 at 5:55 pm · Filed under reflective poems
The dam explodes.
Agonised,
I reach out,
Grab a pen.
Instead of the tears that do not fall,
And the longings that are unspoken
Words explode on the pages,
Pain turning to poetry.
Line after line,
A cry,
A howl,
In place of the sound that fails to come out of my mouth.
The poems sigh and cry on my behalf-
They weep,
shout,
and rage.
And sometimes…
laugh at me-
At my vain attempt to flee reality-
Hide in the smooth flow of rhythmic verse.
But I do not mind.
I know the poetry to be true
so I take the pen
write more of this poetry.
For though the poem weep,
Though the poem shout,
Though it laughs,
It is still my catharsis-
my poetry of recovery.
unpublished poem by Mary Kimani dated 18 March 1999
March 29, 2007 at 3:21 pm · Filed under reflective poems
Dear Mother,
Today,
I stand at the edge of life,
Peering over the cliff,
Sure now
That I could never jump,
Wondering why I ever thought I could.
I stand,
Aware that I have lived beyond my time
Known secrets reserved for old women
Tasted sorrows reserved for the matured and tempered.
But somehow, though always standing right here at the edge,
I have not jumped over the cliff.
It is hard to walk away from the comfort of the known to the unknown.
Hard to wake up and start anew.
I know I am not the same,
Because the yearnings for a new life
are stronger than the pull
and comfort of yesterday’s known way of living.
I must say that standing here
one tends to get lost
for so dizzying is the experience
of precariously standing at the edge of a cliff
knowing that it only takes one step to go tumbling down.
It is over now,
I tell myself,
It is really over,
Finally after so many years of living,
I am free-
Free to walk away
Free to start anew
The hatred is over,
The conflict has died.
I am free now
Finally my life can begin.
unpublished poem- dated 27 July 2000 .
March 1, 2007 at 6:44 pm · Filed under reflective poems
I delve deeply,
In search of self
In search of the core
That is me.
I walk endless pathways
Find many mirrors
Images
Thoughts
Opinions
Things I have become because
Because it was expected
But who is me
I delve deeper
I find tags
Female
30
African
Black
Educated
Writer
Spiritual
Small
Slender
….
Tags
External
From outsiside
What says I from within?
I delve deeper
Confusion
Am I enough
Am I beautiful enough
Intelligent enough
Can I hold your attention
Can you love me
Can you need me
But who is the me?
Darkness
From here
Delving is fearful
Delving is frightening
For I cannot see what the answer is beyond this
I can think more labels
Kind
Generous
Selfish (sometimes)
Childlike
Lazy (many times)
Intelligent (sometimes)
Arrogant (okay not that)
But beyone?
Whats beyond?
Whats beyond that?
What is BEYOND that?
Silence
Darkness
I delve deeper
And I find …
A gateway
A hole
Beyond
Nothingnessess
Blackness
Cosmos.
And I laugh..
How could it have been so simple?
Unpublished poem by Mary Kimani, dated November 12, 2006